It’s time for the FOURTH annual Action-Squad/Tecmo Super Bowl projection post! The Action-Squad is 2-1 in predicting the last three winners of the NFL’s Super Bowl, including last year’s stunning upset victory of the Giants over the Patriots. Using a highly scientific method (simulating the game with the 1991 NES Super Tecmo Bowl), I have once again determined who will win – read below!

Johnnie Johnson of the Phoenix (they weren’t Arizona back then) Cardinals and Rod Woodson of the Steelers came out for the coin toss, making it a dual black-guy-coded-white-because-they’re-light-skinned encounter. Johnnie won and chose to receive.

Gary Anderson kicked off to Vai Sikahema, who returned it to the Cardinal 36 yard line. Johnnie Johnson then ran the ball 5 yards, setting up a 2nd and five situation. Timm Rosenbach, one of the worst computer football players in history, lived up to his dubious reputation by then throwing an INT to Steeler safety Carnell Lake. On the Steelers’ first play on offense, Bubby Brister threw a 40 yard bomb to Louis Lipps for a quick score, 6-0. Anderson’s kick put it at 7-0.
The Cardinals’ next possession was fruitless, as they ran WR Ricky Proehl (Bowl) on an end around twice in a row, resulting in -13 yards. They eventually punted and the Steelers started again on offense. The last half of the 1st quarter turned into the Merrill Hoge show, as he ran for 9 yards, caught a 10 yard pass off a blitz, and ran three more times for 2, 5, and 6 yards respectively.

The 2nd quarter had Hoge failing to converge on a 3rd and short setting up a 40 yard FG attempt for Anderson, but he missed. Unfortunately for the Cards, they had a three-and-out and punted to the Steelers. The defensive battle continued as the Steelers failed to convert a first down and punted back to Phoenix. The Cardinals started deep in their own territory but Rosenbach rolled out and found WR Roy Green (BIV) for a 6 yard reception – the first completed pass of the game for the Cardinals. The Steelers were playing pass defense, allowing Johnnie Johnson to score runs of 10, 20, and 8 yards. With the remaining time in the first half quickly running out, Rosenbach launched a deep pass to WR (Bert and) Ernie Jones. JUMP BALL! (In rare instances, Tecmo defaults into an uber-exciting animation sequence where both the WR and defender jump for the ball as you eagerly wait to see who comes down with it) Jones caught it! With 14 seconds left Al Del Greco trotted out for the easy 30 yard field goal. But he missed! The first half ended with the Steelers still leading 7-0.

HALF TIME SHOW! Every Tecmo halftime sequence ends with either the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, the majorette/panty flash girl, or the jog bra girl. Which one was it? All three appeared in this particular halftime, but only one was the last shot – answer at the end of the post!

Dwight Stone got the Steelers started in the 3rd quarter with a marginal return. After a 6 yard run by former A-S Super Bowl MVP Warren Williams, Bubby Brister connected with TE Eric Green for a 20 yard pass. A couple of plays later, though, Williams fumbled and Cards NT Big Jim Whaler pounced on the turnover. Johnson scampered for 15 yards and then Timmmmm Rosenbach fired two flee-flickers in a row for incompletes (with one dropped in the endzone). The Cards were forced to punt and the Steelers took over on their own 20 yard line. The Phoenix defense, though, was up to the task as LB Eric Hill sacked Brister, and then CB Cedric Mack grabbed an INT. The Steelers responded when LB Hardy Nickerson sacked Rosenbach, but the 3rd quarter ended with a 20 yard pass to Roy Green, giving Phoenix the ball deep in Steeler territory.

The 4th quarter started when Phoenix moved the ball to the 2 yard line with the first positive yardage Proehl end around, and Johnson eventually hit pay dirt, tying the game at 7-7. The Steelers’ ensuing possession was stifled when Big Jim Whaler came up big again by sacking Brister. Pittsburgh punted into the Cards half of the field. With less than two minutes left in the game, deep in their own territory, the Cardinals were facing fourth and long. But they decided to go for it! It was a controversial call given the tie score. Pitt DL Evans scored the sack, setting up the Steelers with a sure chance to win the game with at least a field goal. After Hoge ran the ball 8 yards, Brister did the unthinkable – he threw an interception to safety Tim McDonald at the two yard line! Johnnie Johnson ran the ball for a first down and breathing room with 45 seconds left. After a couple of failed plays, facing third and sixteen and the end of regulation, Phoenix once again called for the flee-flicker. Once again, Carnell Lake grabbed an INT, and that sent the game to OVERTIME!!!

Woodson won the toss this time, but Phoenix could feel victory in their reach. Freddie Joe Nunn sacked Brister on their first play, and then safety Lonnie Young intercepted Bubby AGAIN! Phoenix didn’t manage to advance the ball on their next three tries, but they were on the 20 yard line, so out trotted Al of the Greeks for the easy game winning FG…except he missed again!!! The Card fans were outraged! Warren Williams kept the ball out of Bubby’s hands and moved the Steelers up the field with a first down, but another Freddie Joe Nunn (don’t you just love the names of Tecmo players?) sack forced the Steelers to punt again. The Cardinals achieved a first down in their half of the field, but could do little else and once again were forced to punt. The Steelers were deep in their own territory and time was running out. So Bubby Brister did the unthinkable – quarterback keeper – a 40 yard run into Cards territory! Instead of going for the long FG, though, they ran a pass play in the final seconds of overtime. Bubby saw a receiver deep down field…he chucked it…Tim McDonald INT!!! Tim started running it back, to the fifty…tackled. Game over. 7-7 tie.

What??? This year’s Super Bowl will end in a tie??? Son of a…

LEAST VALUABLE PLAYERS:
Usually we award the game MVP here, but how can you with a tie? So our LVPs are…

Al del Greco – K – Cardinals. Missed two easy field goals which would have won the game.

Bubby Brister – QB – Steelers. 4 INTs. Seriously.

Enjoy the game tonight, Tecmo thinks it’s going to be too close to call!

(HALFTIME girl – jog bra)